The Leader of Listicles. The King of Clickbait. The Fighting Pride of the Fluffpieces. The Unified Upworthy and Buzzfeed World Champion. The one and only Dr. #Content.

All those present when he burst, fully-formed, from the head of a particularly power-crazed Assistant Social Media Editor in early 2015 instantly knew that this Dr. #Content fellow was something else. Something… inhuman. Something capable of thinking at a hundred and forty characters per second. Capable of dreaming up a dozen hashtags in the blink of an eye. Capable of writing articles fawning and yet so subtle in their praise that it occurs to no one to check to see if there’s a “Sponsored” tag at the top.

But soon, the good Doctor realized he could be more. More than just some corporate stooge. More than just some #cog in the #machine. More than just the faceless entity behind the hackneyed “three-way” joke in that stupid fucking Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr. ad. He could make Paradise Lost references, for example. This is the place where he can do that.*

*there’s also some kanye west parodies and stuff here for what its worth