Ted Cruz Liked A Porn Tweet: Possible Explanations

In case you haven’t heard, U.S. Senator Ted Cruz, the junior United States Senator from Texas (in the Senate),  was yesterday found to have “liked” a tweet containing a porn video. It took several hours for him to un-like it, meaning people had plenty of time to preserve the evidence for posterity via screenshots (link very NSFW). 

How could he let this happen? How could Ted Cruz possibly make such a catastrophic, quintessentially Freudian slip and let it go unchecked? I don’t know, but I’ve come up with four possibilities, presented below in order of increasing plausibility.

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Extremely Safe Predictions for Season 4 of BoJack Horseman

The highly anticipated fourth season of BoJack Horseman hits Netflix this Friday, the eighth. I was going to make some ambitious predictions about what would happen in it, but come on, we’ll get to find out for ourselves one way or the other in four days—and if you don’t want to wait that long, there’s plenty of supposedly “spoiler-free” reviews out there that all still manage to spoil half the season and probably debunk the crazy theories I was planning to publish. So here’s a bunch of really safe predictions instead. 

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Winners and Losers from Steve Bannon’s Ouster

WINNERS: 

Game of Thrones: Was referenced by people close to Bannon today, which just might provide this little-known fantasy series with the popularity boost its fans have long felt it deserves

ClickHole: Can now be officially recognized for publishing the seminal account of the Bannon era

Democrats: Now that the administration’s sole remaining bastion of conservative thought is gone, have regained control of the White House (more…)

Breaking Down That Time Anthony Scaramucci Said Steve Bannon Sucks His Own Cock

In what has already been surpassed as the biggest political story of the last 24 hours, The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza reported that newly-appointed White House communications director Anthony “the Mooch” Scaramucci called him up and unleashed a profanity-laden tirade in which he vowed to fire and/or kill everyone behind the White House’s continued news leaks. I have quickly been made to regret not writing about this last night, when it was still the number one news item, but frankly, it’s so amazing that I have to write about it. Let’s go through it, line by line.  (more…)

Winners and Losers from Sean Spicer’s Resignation

 

Sean Spicer resigned as White House press secretary literally, like, a couple hours ago. Who wins and who loses from this turn of events? Let’s find out. 

WINNERS: 

Sean Spicer: I mean, duh

Donald Trump: The appointment of Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director reinforced that he is a Big, Independent President Man totally above the objections and whims of his underlings, with the exception of course of his son-in-law (more…)