La La Land But Mia and Sebastian Know How To Use Cell Phones

I enjoyed La La Land, but I couldn’t help but think that pretty much all of the conflict that arises between Mia and Sebastian could have been avoided if they’d just used their phones to stay in touch with each other like regular people. With that in mind, I wrote a script that imagines how the movie might have played out with a more tech-savvy pair of leads. 

And as a bit of bonus #content for my loyal readers here at doctorcontent.com, here are the lyrics to my version’s hit original song, “The Cell Phone Is A Wonderful And Convenient Modern Invention And I Could Not Imagine Going Without One For Long”!

[Mia]
I can’t believe

[Sebastian]
I can’t believe

[Mia]
How lucky I am

[Sebastian]
I can’t believe how lucky

[Mia]
How fortunate

[Sebastian]
How lucky I am

[Mia + Sebastian]
To have you

[Sebastian]
This city of stars
Aligned our hearts
Together

[Mia]
With a big helping hand
From our plastic best fraaand
The cell phone

[Mia + Sebastian]
Oh yes, let’s not forget the

[Jazzy, obnoxious chorus composed of quirky, ludicrously attired extras]
CELL PHONE
CELL PHONE
WONDERFUL AND CONVENIENT
CELL PHONE
CELL PHONE
IT HELPS YOU BE PREVENIENT

[Mia]
To help avoid
Being annoyed
When your boyfriend doesn’t show

[Sebastian]
Keep our love true
As one, not two
When to Paris Mia goes

[Mia + Sebastian]
What a wonderful modern invention this is
I would hate to be without one for long
What a wonderful modern invention we have
It really has helped our love stay strong
It’s the

[Chorus]
CELL PHONE
CELL PHONE
THE BEST AND WORST OF MODERN LIFE
CELL PHONE
CELL PHONE
DELIVER US FROM COUPLE’S STRIFE
CELL PHONE
CELL PHONE
ALL OUR WANTS AND ALL OUR NEEDS
CELL PHONE
CELL PHONE
WE HELPED ADDRESS THROUGH THIS TOUCHSCREEN

[Mia + Sebastian]
Our love stays strong
We carry on
Thanks to this magical plastic lump
If you don’t use
An iPhone muse
Then you’re a goddamn fucking chump

We’re in love forever
And you know why?
Well it’s because
Until the day we die
We won’t stray far
We’ll trust our hearts
To a simple truth:
Our constant use
Of the

[Chorus + Mia + Sebastian]
CELLLLLLLLLL
PHOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEE

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