Joe Biden: You’d think one of his political rivals would have used these debates to call his political record or past statements into question, or point out any one of the myriad swords of Damocles which hang over his head and would surely damage his chances in a general election, but I guess that slipped their minds
Amy Klobuchar: Proved that she has the crucial ability to make connections, as evidenced by her close friendship with Kansas governor Uh… Kelly
You know, the one on Wednesday, November 20, 2019 on NBC?
Pete Buttigieg: Put in a stellar performance that made him the night’s clear winner, which is great, because he’s young and handsome and eloquent and absolutely not duplicitous or lacking in genuine convictions or willing to sell out his policy platform to the highest bidder or anything like that
Amy Klobuchar: Her line about having raised $17,000 from ex-boyfriends was one of the all-time great debate jokes, and happily, it saves me the trouble of having to come up with a joke for this entry myself
Yet another debate is in the books! Here’s who won and who lost.
Beto O’Rourke: Gave some excellent, passionate answers on gun control and racial justice, suggesting that he’s finally building up a tolerance to the sedatives his handlers have been slipping him before every debate
Pete Buttigeg: Cemented his place as the candidate who sounds the best when you listen to what they say, but don’t really listen to what they say
These are the two debates that took place on July 30 and 31, 2019, to be clear. So, technically, the third and fourth Democratic debates.
Donald Trump: Every pundit was saying that Trump would benefit from all this Democratic squabbling, so it must be true. Never mind the example of the Republican debates four years ago, which gave the right hours of free airtime to lob unanswered attacks against Hillary Clinton and shape the narrative of the entire campaign
Audience protestors: Their chants of “[inaudible yelling]!” and “[indecipherable] deportations!” will live long in the memory