January 6

Ted Cruz Spends A Day In A Truck

Mr Cruz addressed the truckers during his visit to the site, noting that high gas prices – which he blamed on Joe Biden’s administration rather than the ongoing war in Ukraine – was hurting the trucker convoy and the rest of the US population.Graig, Graziosi, The Independent (emphasis mine)

The truckers congregated at the Speedway in Hagerstown, Md…. What I had not quite registered until this morning is that, apparently, at the end of each day of this protest of driving in a large circle around the most miserably congested highway in the country, they have been driving back to Hagerstown…. the Hagerstown Speedway sits approximately 68 miles from the nearest point of the Capital Beltway, in Bethesda, Md.Albert Burneko, Defector


“So,” said United States Senator R. Edward “Ted” Cruz, struggling to be heard over the din of truck horns and diesel engines, “they race cars on this?”

“Yep,” said the driver of the flag-festooned semi Ted Cruz had climbed up into, “most Saturday nights, I imagine.”

Ted Cruz winced at the damage the clay surface of Hagerstown Speedway had already done to the mirror sheen of his black wingtips. “Doesn’t the dirt get into the cars?”

“Well, sure, but that’s part of the fun! What, you ain’t never been to a dirt track before?”

“No,” said Ted Cruz, “I guess I haven’t.”

“Well, then you best come back here once we’re all gone!” said his host. “You’re missing out.”

Ted Cruz looked around at the brown clay oval and the dusty grandstands, what he could see of them between the massed ranks of the Freedom Convoy. “I guess I should,” he said, in much the same tone as when he finally agreed to endorse Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential race.

“Yeah, come on down any Saturday night!” began Ted Cruz’s trucker companion as he released the parking brake and began to roll out of the Speedway infield.

“Wait, hold on,” said Ted Cruz, donning the cool black Ray-Bans that, together with his slicked-back hair and gray-streaked beard, he thought made him look very cool and Texan, “let’s get a video of this. For social media.”

(more…)