[Intro: The ghostly voice of Ted Kennedy from beyond the grave]
Healthcare repeal
Soundly defeated
[Verse 1: Paul Ryan]
You say you never saw this comin’, well you’re not alone
Shoulda been an easy win but we just got owned
The Dems said we couldn’t do it without a fight
I thought for sure we had enough votes, I guess they were right
I wake up, assessin’ the damages
Checkin’ Washington Post now
Say I pled for votes on my hands and knees
And it’s clear to all I’m fucking toast now
I wake up, all veggies no eggs
I hit the gym, all chest no legs
Yep, then I made myself a smoothie
Yep, don’t think ‘bout how they gonna sue me
The Congress, the White House, The White House back to Congress
I can tell, I can tell, some blood is gonna spill
Wish I was drivin’ far enough to switch the time zone
Felt like a matter of time at the time though
Now, I just want wine though
[Hook: Paul Ryan]
And I waited 7 years
And I, I waited 7 years for this?
[Verse 2: Mitch McConnell]
Repubs got screwed by our own John McCain
And a prez wants nothing but just to show off
He left us alone to kill Obama’s healthcare
While he’s out golfing, just wanting to blow off
Inquisition to how we failed our mission
I’m tryna change the talk to our tax agenda
Skirt skirt skirt like the dress code for our women
Can’t admit that we just can’t get one damn bill done, huh
We can’t govern, we just pretendin’
‘Cause we got no beginnin’ middle or endin’
The Congress, the White House, the White House back to Congress
Our mandate’s rottin’ here, that’s all that I know
Seen our promise break, repeal one bill
We thought it would be simple
Now it’s 5 in the morning
We realize this not an afternoon, it’s an odyssey
Only road open is sabotage, make the office bleed
We’ll turn the people on Obamacare, it’s no prob
We’ll use up those dollars on tax cuts for those folks on top
Cause I’ve been suckin’ the Koch Bros’ dick the whole time
Know without that blowjob I ain’t got no job
[Hook: Paul Ryan]
And I waited 7 years
[Outro: Paul Ryan + Donald Trump]
DJ, can you help me out?
7 years
Yeah, this type of shit you just ride out to
7 years
7 years
I just be like, it was our agenda to put an end to Obamacare
Now I’m hella mad
Now I’m ‘bout to P90x for a whole week to feel…
7 years
Just to feel..
Just to…
Just to…
I live my life P90
90 days not enough forget this mess
It was my idea and now I’m a loser (7 years and they couldn’t get it passed, I’ll tell you what)
Yeah, I lost it bad, yeah I lost it, uh
I’m gonna (I mean, seriously. 7 years? Can you believe that, folks? This guy spent seven years saying he was going to repeal Obamacare, going “oh, Obamacare is so bad, we’re going to repeal it”—”repeal and replace,” that’s what he said—and now Obama’s out of there and he can’t do it?)
Um, Donald?
You’re supposed to be providing backup vocals?
Like you were supposed to back up the Obamacare repeal? (I never said that.)
You promised me. (They’re saying that I said that. I never said that. I swear, with these people…)
Jesus Christ, Donald.
You know what? I’m just going to walk away (…keep saying I don’t do my part! I don’t do my part! Let me ask you: Did I do my part? Yeah. You guys know better than they do, or the fake news does…)
This isn’t going on the album, right
None of this (…talking about oh it’s his album whatever, where in “The Life of Ronald” does it say anything about Paul Ryan? Nowhere, that’s where. He’s no better than CNN, talking about things that never happened. I was watching CNN the other day—and I don’t know why I do, they’re all full of crap, no respect—you know who isn’t full of crap is Sean Hannity…)
Um (…saying that I shouldn’t spend so much time golfing. Let me ask you: if you were the President, and you spent all week signing bills and making deals and working with Congress, and I tell you what, working with Congress is a nightmare, they just want to sit in their offices and collect their paychecks—did you know they make a hundred and seventy grand a year? Just for sitting around wearing a suit all day. Especially guys like John McCain, you know what he did? He voted no on the bill, the healthcare bill. It was going to be a great bill…)
Hey, uh, Donald (…he’s a coward. Everyone says he’s a hero. Me? Not a hero. Not a hero! He got captured in Vietnam. Does that sound like a hero to you? And now he goes up and votes no on repealing Obamacare. He had the chance to repeal Obamacare, which was a bad bill, very bad, but he didn’t step up. Not a hero. Not a hero. But that’s fine! That means someone else can vote to repeal it. A real hero. And I tell you what…)
Oh, thank God, a phone call
Hi, Mitch
I’m just laying down a track right now
Another repeal bill? Already?
Shouldn’t we at least try and create a version that will get enough votes first?
…we’re going to get it done. You can count on that. I’m going to repeal Obamacare. I promised I would repeal Obamacare, and I’m going to do it. I’m going to make America great again. We’re going to make America great again. We’re going to build the wall, we’re going to drain the swamp, we’re going to keep this country safe. We’re not going to let in any illegal immigrants or ISIS terrorists…
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The Desk of Dr. #Content 