Mitch McConnell

THE LIFE OF RONALD Is Complete At Last

Last year, having already written a deeply underappreciated spoof of “No More Parties In L.A.” in which Ted Cruz and John Kasich argue that they could still beat Donald Trump for the Republican nomination if they just had one more G.O.P. debate, I made the in hindsight thoroughly ill-advised decision to parody the rest of Kanye West’s 2016 album, The Life of Pablo, but make it about Republicans. Thus, The Life of Ronald was born. (more…)

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Winners And Losers From Our Current Mess

 

WINNERS: 

The National Anthem: The third song off Radiohead’s Kid A remains a bizarre, fascinating classic

The 1800s: Roy Moore’s victory in the Republican primary for Alabama’s vacant Senate seat was a major coup for the embattled century (more…)

FOLs

[Verse 1: Reince Priebus]
I been
Waiting
For a
Decade
For my
Big break
And then Trump
Jepoardized my dreams through this asshole
I been
Thinking
‘Twas a
Mistake
Endorsing
His charade
Made him the only one that’s in control
I been
Feeling
All I’ve
Given
For my
Vision
Really thought I’d reached my goal
God, I’m
Reeling
Must make an
Admission
Lost my
Ambition
To put R’s
In charge from shore to shore
I been
Drinking
‘Cause I’m
Stricken
Pour out
My feelings
‘Cause our bill
Just died out on the floor
The floor
Just died out on the floor
‘Cause our bill
Just died out on the floor

(more…)

7 Years

[Intro: The ghostly voice of Ted Kennedy from beyond the grave]
Healthcare repeal
Soundly defeated
 
[Verse 1: Paul Ryan]
You say you never saw this comin’, well you’re not alone
Shoulda been an easy win but we just got owned
The Dems said we couldn’t do it without a fight
I thought for sure we had enough votes, I guess they were right
I wake up, assessin’ the damages
Checkin’ Washington Post now
Say I pled for votes on my hands and knees
And it’s clear to all I’m fucking toast now
I wake up, all veggies no eggs
I hit the gym, all chest no legs
Yep, then I made myself a smoothie
Yep, don’t think ‘bout how they gonna sue me
The Congress, the White House, The White House back to Congress
I can tell, I can tell, some blood is gonna spill
Wish I was drivin’ far enough to switch the time zone
Felt like a matter of time at the time though
Now, I just want wine though

(more…)

Winners and Losers From The Past Week Or So

Lotta stuff done happened this week, folks. Heckuva lot. 

WINNERS: 

Mitch McConnell: Continues to have an outsize impact on the political direction of the world’s largest economy, an inspiration for sentient masses of pond slime wearing loose-fitting human skin as a disguise everywhere (more…)