Berserk

Winners And Losers From The February 19 Democratic Debate And The Nevada Caucuses

WINNERS:

Elizabeth Warren: With her standing in the polls dwindling, Warren seemed to throw the gloves off at the debate and go all-in as the Mad Max to Bernie’s Imperator Furiosa. The Berserker Armor to Bernie’s Guts. The Tim Gutterson to Bernie’s Raylan Givens. The Garrincha to Bernie’s Pelé. The Time Wizard to Bernie’s Baby Dragon. The Joe Biden to Bernie’s Barack Obama (?)

Bernie Sanders: Wow, it’s almost like the self-evident moral urgency of his message, combined with the obvious smarminess of the opponents who decry it as excessive or unambitious, makes such a good case for him that millions of Americans are rallying to him or something

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Winners and Losers from the November 2019 Democratic Debate

You know, the one on Wednesday, November 20, 2019 on NBC?

WINNERS:

Pete Buttigieg: Put in a stellar performance that made him the night’s clear winner, which is great, because he’s young and handsome and eloquent and absolutely not duplicitous or lacking in genuine convictions or willing to sell out his policy platform to the highest bidder or anything like that

Amy Klobuchar: Her line about having raised $17,000 from ex-boyfriends was one of the all-time great debate jokes, and happily, it saves me the trouble of having to come up with a joke for this entry myself

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