Tom Steyer

Winners And Losers From The February 7 Democratic Debate And The Iowa Caucuses

WINNERS: 

Bernie Sanders: Not only did Sanders win the popular vote in Iowa, the complete failure of the Democratic Party’s caucus app and the transparency of their attempts to relitigate the results to keep him from winning will only reinforce the self-defeating crookedness of the existing party system and his opposition to it, which will only help his image. Wait, there was supposed to be a joke here somewhere

Bill Weld: With a stunning 1.3% of the vote in the Republican caucuses, showed that his primary challenge to Donald Trump won’t be dismissed that easily

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Winners And Losers From The January 2020 Democratic Debate

WINNERS: 

Joe Biden: You’d think one of his political rivals would have used these debates to call his political record or past statements into question, or point out any one of the myriad swords of Damocles which hang over his head and would surely damage his chances in a general election, but I guess that slipped their minds

Amy Klobuchar: Proved that she has the crucial ability to make connections, as evidenced by her close friendship with Kansas governor Uh… Kelly

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Winners and Losers from the December Democratic Debate

WINNERS: 

Tom Steyer: Is uncomfortably good at this for a guy who bought his way onto the stage*

Joe Biden: Look, let’s just save ourselves a bunch of anguish later and admit that he’s not quite bad enough at this to lose the nomination (more…)

Winners and Losers from the November 2019 Democratic Debate

You know, the one on Wednesday, November 20, 2019 on NBC?

WINNERS: 

Pete Buttigieg: Put in a stellar performance that made him the night’s clear winner, which is great, because he’s young and handsome and eloquent and absolutely not duplicitous or lacking in genuine convictions or willing to sell out his policy platform to the highest bidder or anything like that

Amy Klobuchar: Her line about having raised $17,000 from ex-boyfriends was one of the all-time great debate jokes, and happily, it saves me the trouble of having to come up with a joke for this entry myself

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Winners And Losers From The October 2019 Democratic Debate

Apparently there are going to be eight more of these?!

WINNERS: 

The climate crisis: Was not the topic of a single question during the debate, which must mean it’s no longer a pressing issue. We solved it, y’all! High fives all around

Pete Buttigieg: Once again, was arguably the most polished and eloquent person on the debate stage, cleverly distracting people from his recent shift to the right apparently bankrolled by billionaires and lobbyists

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