Yesterday at the Conservative Political Action Conference, U.S. Senator Ted Cruz, the junior United States Senator from Texas (in the Senate) and supposedly avid fan of such institutional works of popular film and television as The Simpsons and The Princess Bride,said, “The Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson and Republicans are happily the party of Homer, Bart, Maggie and Marge.” How did Ted Cruz so thoroughly misread his favorite show as to come to this interpretation, and more to the point, how did he think this interpretation would reflect badly on the Democrats?
(It should be noted before we begin that I’ve seen maybe 15-20 Simpsons episodes ever.)
The American people: With the repeal of the restrictive and unhelpful net neutrality rules, will enjoy more freedom and choice than ever*
*This entry is written in doublespeak. For a translation to straight talk, replace “The American people” with “We Verizon executives”; add “for our bottom line” after “restrictive and unhelpful”; and add “in purchasing yachts, private jets, limited-production European supercars, and fourth homes on the Riviera” after “more freedom and choice”.
Doug Jones: Pulled off the most stunning victory in Alabama since Cal Naughton, Jr. won at Talladega after Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard were disqualified for crossing the finish line on foot (more…)
Today, after much flailing about and increased frustration from the left, the Democratic Party finally unveiled a proper, coherent platform on which to run against the Republican majority in 2018. (more…)
Yesterday, the Republicans pulled their much-hyped bill to replace Obamacare, after failing to secure enough votes from within the party to ensure its passage. Here are the winners and losers from one of the most embarrassing failures in the party’s history:
The United States of America: Racked up a thumping 6-0 win over Honduras on Friday night, a vital lifeline for their chances of qualifying for the 2018 FIFA World Cup