OUR desp’rate Situation, though describ’d
In part before, is not by one account,
Though desolate, sufficiently enfram’d;
With such Vignettes alone one cannot hope
To grasp in full the vast Calamity
Upon our Party render’d, nor discern
Th’initial Root of our dismay from that
Which later it engendered; therefore, Muse,
Speak now of th’origin of this great Plight,
Of the beginning days, th’initial strokes
When Candidates announced themselves, and full
Of expectation, by ambition wild
O’errun, could each believe in Victory,
As one assur’d that they alone would rise
And claim the party’s mantle, Challenger
To Hillary, foul Clinton, long besmirch’d
By sordid Conduct, stain’d by Soldiers’ blood
From ill-secur’d Benghazi, and misuse
Of private E-mails too, mementos dark
And damning of her time as Sec. of State,
A horrid Reign which any Resume
Would tarnish. Any Nominee who fac’d
A Foe of such malevolence for sure
Could halt that malice Coronation, by
The Lib’ral Media and its Overlords
Engineer’d, that dark Machinery
From its destructive course stay, and rebuff
Th’advances foul of its cruel Architects:
Incompetent Obama, whose designs
Of Healthcare and Taxation vested pow’r
Tyrannical upon the Feds, and stripp’d
For his dark ends the People manifold
Of basic Rights; and too the Kingmaker,
Demoniac Soros, whose titanic Wealth
A foul agenda served, and nothing more:
To sow division his singular aim,
And undermine our Mores: and so advance
A global Order, with him its vile King.
Against these Stakes a host of Challengers
Took Arms, and made their bid to lead the charge
Against our polyvalent Enemies,
And Reag’n’s long unimpeach’d Significance
From th’Oval Office once again espouse.
Among their ranks were many prospects great,
From every depth of the Party’s vast Pool:
Bold Rubio, by the Brass their Savior crown’d,
Whose air of Kennedy and vig’rous youth,
Enchanting handsomeness and impish eye,
With business-friendly Policy combin’d
Excited th’Establish’d, as did his Creds
With the Latino Vote, important wedge
Against the seated might amongst Non-Whites
Enjoy’d by Clinton and the Democrats;
But soon such merits found themselves subsum’d
By evidence o’th’ Senator’s shortfall
Of original Thoughts, instead suffus’d
With insincere and polish’d Talking-Points
Exactly calculated to endear
The G.O.P Electorate, but back’d
With no conviction, no deeper belief
Beyond desire for Pow’r: thus Rubio
Betray’d his early promise. One could turn
Instead to th’other Floridian, wise Jeb,
Next in th’illustrious Line, by Herbert led
And Dubya reinforc’d, of Bushes proud:
A cool and stable hand, of pedigree
Long uncontested, perfect to reverse
The deleterious years Obama led,
If unexciting: rarely could applause
His wonkish discourse spark, a flaw his Staff
Aim’d sloganeer to distant Memory
By exclamation points beyond his Name
Inserted, but instead achieved no more
Than ridicule, their desperation nude
And crudely cover’d, as the first of Men
Their sinful Organs with fig leaves conceal’d
Upon ingesting the forbidden Fruit
And fast perceiving their unclothedness.
More promising seem’d Jersey’s Governor,
Imposing Christie, by his lauded Reign
Through devastating Tempests years before
To national regard ris’n, his Campaign
On talk undeviating straight and true
Constructed, but soon undermin’d by counts
Of crooked Practices, uncall’d-for acts
Of petty vengeance wrought against dislik’d
Or disapproving Mayors back at home:
Thus never could his Polls attain the heights
The Punditry expected early on,
And fast his promise fled. Meanwhile for those
Who greater Shakeups craved, not Politics
As Usual, among th’Outsiders there was
No less a depth of choices. One could opt
To Fiorina gravitate: of all
The many Candidates the Right could boast,
She th’only Woman, but deserving still:
Of Corporations learn’d, a CEO
O’th’ Fortune 500, employ most lov’d
By we who Capital and Markets free
Revere; thus, though of Politics ill-vers’d,
And her success in corporate Charge by clear
And obvious deceits huge overblown,
She fast became a dark horse popular,
Though faster still forgotten; no one’s first
Or favor’d choice, to prominence propell’d
Only in the Debates, where her replies
A moment’s thrill inspir’d among the Crowds,
But no enduring loyalty secur’d,
Nor Polling led; thus another Candidate
Of early promise to the wayside fell,
But no concern: such was the rich expanse
Of competition to be Nominee
That many choices still remain’d.
Now many sought the droning Carson, calm
And somnolent Apothecary: the Brain,
Supreme Organ of all our Perceptions,
His specialty, but now for Politics
His undisputed talents sought to yield;
He early on declar’d, and hop’d his soft
And intellectual Air would win the hearts
Of all th’Electorate, and for a time
Successful seem’d, despite the wild beliefs
Which overran that Yale-school’d Intellect,
Assertions that the Pyramids, great tombs
Erected by th’Egyptian kings of old
To ensure their pharaonic wealth transferr’d
With them beyond the mortal realm, and ease
Their passage through Osiris’ Trials, were not
Grand mausoleums but instead design’d
As granaries by Joseph, Vizier
O’th ancient Realm beside the Nile; so he,
In turn, relinquish’d the spotlight, and slipp’d
From front to muddled middle, as the rest
Before him. Yet one Candidate would not
Succumb to this insididous sequence:
By no embarrassment could he be slow’d,
No prov’n incompetence discredited,
No counter could halt that dark Champion,
Monstropoulous and all-consuming stain
On th’admirable Mantle dignified
And until this Election unbesmirch’d
O’th’ Party: Donald Trump, exploitive Scourge
Of unbefitting Temperament, and views
Anathema to true Conservatives:
Yet to the Voters, vessels inexact
For the volition o’th’ Elites, a draw:
The early Polls he topp’d, his prior Fame
The cause, or so assum’d the Pundit Class,
Who wav’d away his uncontain’d success
As brief flirtation from th’Electorate,
Unserious entertainment they pursu’d
For temporary thrills before they turn’d
To true contenders in the Primaries;
The talking heads did Trump’s inveterate talk
Of Barricades to Mexico, and Bans
On Musulmanic entry, thus dismiss
As ill-considered folly, and his Bid
With no concern regarded. So the Field
Expended not their riches to o’erthrow
The Donald, but assum’d that th’infinite
Debates, as earlier chronicled, would fast,
Through th’information of his loyal Fans
To his collected Fooleries and Sins,
His leading role erode, and its prestige
To a more worthy contestant reimpose.
Compounded too with a reluctance foul
And foolish to pursue superior Good,
Nor any unity ‘gainst common Foe
By coordinate Efforts engineer,
The bids of Cruz and Kasich each a foil
To th’other serv’d, each loath to undertake
The necessary collaboration, to join
Their Voters to one Candidate per State
Throughout the Primaries, and thereby might
Make the superior Numbers still oppos’d
To Trump inseparate, and put an end
To his tyrannical Plurality,
Cohort contemptible and ignorant
Of savage Id and thoughtless Preferences,
Against whose huge unthinking bulk alone
No Candidate’s support, fractional shard
Of th’opposite Plurality, could stand.
Th’ambitious prospect, sole remaining chance
To hamstring Trump and choose a Nominee
Of better standing for the General,
Of halting his collection still uncheck’d
Of Delegates, and thus a chance maintain
That th’imminent Assembly of the Right
In Cleveland would host a contested Race,
And in a vote on the Convention floor
Expel the Donald from his Seat reproach’d
And wide lambasted, thus collaps’d; not Cruz
Nor Kasich thought arrange such compromise,
Nor deign’d surrender their Campaign to join
Their Votes against the greater Enemy.
Thus on subsequent days in early May
Did each abandon their Campaigns, and seal
The Mogul’s nomination, barring means
Beyond Democracy to render null
Or deem invalid all the Primary
Elections, which across the year entire
Confirm’d the public Will behind the Don.
The Desk of Dr. #Content 