wow ted cruz is tagged in a lot of these articles like seriously it’s a testament to how ripe he is as a source for humor

Winners and Losers from the Vice-Presidential Debate

WINNERS

Mike Pence: Did remarkably well, considering his upbringing as a starched shirt brought to life in an unholy laboratory experiment

Seeing your opponent as human rather than openly hating their guts: Kaine and Pence displayed clear, long-held respect for one another, demonstrating that it is possible to engage with someone with a differing political agenda without pulling a knife on them and calling them an elaborate portmanteau of five different racial and sexual slurs

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Winners and Losers from the 2016 Republican National Convention

WINNERS:

Diversity: Major victories for the Republican Party on this point, as we saw numerous male speakers who parted their hair on the RIGHT, rather than the left

Ted Cruz: Took an admirable, widely publicized stand for his principles, distracting everyone from how bizarre and unsettling those principles are

George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon: At this point, all are off the hook for the demise of the party of Lincoln, Teddy, and Ike

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