Roy Moore

Winners and Losers from the Net Neutrality Repeal and the Alabama Senate Election

WINNERS: 

The American people: With the repeal of the restrictive and unhelpful net neutrality rules, will enjoy more freedom and choice than ever*

*This entry is written in doublespeak. For a translation to straight talk, replace “The American people” with “We Verizon executives”; add “for our bottom line” after “restrictive and unhelpful”; and add “in purchasing yachts, private jets, limited-production European supercars, and fourth homes on the Riviera” after “more freedom and choice”. 

Doug Jones: Pulled off the most stunning victory in Alabama since Cal Naughton, Jr. won at Talladega after Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard were disqualified for crossing the finish line on foot (more…)

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Winners and Losers from Al Franken’s Resignation

WINNERS: 

The Democratic Party: Fundamentally changed their stance on a substantial issue in the space of about three weeks at the behest of their base, which is frankly one of the most astonishing things I’ve ever seen

Women: Now only have to contend with the president, his administration, the political party that holds power in the majority of federal and state legislatures, a huge number of industries and fields, and the vast and all-encompassing socionormative bedrock of human society continuing to condone sexual misconduct (more…)

Winners And Losers From Our Current Mess

 

WINNERS: 

The National Anthem: The third song off Radiohead’s Kid A remains a bizarre, fascinating classic

The 1800s: Roy Moore’s victory in the Republican primary for Alabama’s vacant Senate seat was a major coup for the embattled century (more…)