James Comey

Winners And Losers From The UK Election And The Comey Hearings

Thursday was an eventful day, with major developments on both sides of the Atlantic. Insert joke about the venerable magazine here. 

WINNERS:

Having a coherent, clear, ambitious, and inspiring progressive agenda: Now proven to be a winning hand, this strategy has paved the way to being completely ignored by the Democratic establishment in 2020 (more…)

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Winners and Losers From The Past Week Or So

Lotta stuff done happened this week, folks. Heckuva lot. 

WINNERS: 

Mitch McConnell: Continues to have an outsize impact on the political direction of the world’s largest economy, an inspiration for sentient masses of pond slime wearing loose-fitting human skin as a disguise everywhere (more…)

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[All vocals by Donald Trump]
[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up

Don’t read what’s in the papers

[Verse 1]
Keep these open phone lines
Just to hear critics? Nah, that’s no dice
Show that these liberals can’t sway us

Show that these liberals can’t play us

[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up

Don’t read what’s in the papers

[Verse 2]
Donnie gave James Comey the old “you’re fired”
Got flooded with complaints, shit’s so damn tired
Shut up, we just doing what the base want us
Shut up, we just doing what the base want us
People waited for me a long time
People waited for me a long time
These libs saying how they feel at the wrong time

Take it up with my votes, they were on time

[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up

Don’t read what’s in the papers

[Verse 3]
We can’t let these people sway us
They’re all Soros-payroll racists
Have they forgotten that
We know they’re rotten, cause we all
D.C. outsiders, ’cause we’re all

D.C. outsiders

[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up

Don’t read what’s in the papers

[Verse 4]
People waited for me a long time
People waited for me a long time
That’s why, that’s why, not gonna even bother
With all these sensitive, no-pussy-grabbing callers
Muslim ban caused panic, airports went all frantic
Lefties mad cause next I’m gonna deport Canucks
Can it, don’t make me get Steve Bannon
This place I’ll run like I do up in Gotham
Don’t complain cause you picked Donald over Rodham
I’m Prez, so it’s not my damn problem
Ridin in this new car, bored, I start tweetin’
Ridin in this new urrrr, bored, I start tweetin’
Shut up, we just doing what the base want us

Shut up, shut up, cause the base warned us

[Outro]
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Wait a second, everybody here, I’m the old white Oprah
You know what that mean? You get a deal! You get a deal!
You get a job! You get a job! Secretary of Education for you! Woo!

 

 

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Track 4: Famous (GOP Primaries Mix)                                                                                                                 Track 6: “Low Lights”, But The Setting Is A Trump Campaign Rally, Hoo Boy