Donald Trump…Junior

Winners and Losers from Italy Missing The World Cup

WINNERS: 

Sweden: Already among the 10 happiest countries in the world even before today’s result

Brazil: Watching today’s drama made me really glad my team has been assured of their place in the World Cup since literally March (more…)

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Saint Ronald

[Intro: Donald Trump]
Yeah, 2 AM D.C. time
Tweeting all night and shit
[Verse 1: Donald Trump]
A life spent
Not answering to nobody
And now I’m Prez, that ain’t gon’ be broke
Got friends that give me some money knowin’ I’m in debt
Pay them back in laws, I ain’t gonna say no
People tryna say I’m goin’ crazy on Twitter
Well, the president shouldn’t stay low
And hey, it’s not hard to get a lil’ on the side
Especially when you got family members on payroll
The fake news said it was corrupted dealings
The fake news said he’s way out of control
I just feel like I’m the only one not pretendin’
I’m not out of control, I’m just not in their control
I know I’m the most influential
That TIME cover was just confirmation
This generation’s closest thing to Jackson
They want a bold new leader, I’m in
Couldn’t stand for four more years of libs and their lies
Break in the paradigm I shifted when it felt right
Troll conventional thought, don’t need to question
Hate Clinton and Obama so sometimes I get aggressive
Thank God for Jared Kushner, he down with my mission
Does work with no permission, on our own conditions
Most men with money have been driven to sedition
Donnie has enough though that it went different
Never listen to Washington insiders
That’s why I won the College, I despise ‘em
The ultimate Gemini, bound to thrive
Did you guys know I made it past 305

(more…)

Winners and Losers from Sean Spicer’s Resignation

 

Sean Spicer resigned as White House press secretary literally, like, a couple hours ago. Who wins and who loses from this turn of events? Let’s find out. 

WINNERS: 

Sean Spicer: I mean, duh

Donald Trump: The appointment of Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director reinforced that he is a Big, Independent President Man totally above the objections and whims of his underlings, with the exception of course of his son-in-law (more…)