WINNERS:
Ted Cruz: Transcended his “obnoxious Ivy League snob” persona to blossom onstage as more of a “grating Princeton-and-Harvard-educated pedant”
Donald Trump: Just you watch, his poll numbers are gonna climb after all that
John Kasich: Despite still being John Kasich, continued to hold his spot on the main stage
Roberto Firmino: Scored two lovely goals for Liverpool against Arsenal on Wednesday evening, making a far better case for himself than anybody on the GOP stage could muster
WINNERS:
Ted Cruz: Successfully resisted the compulsion to raise his hand and ask the moderators for permission when he needed to use the bathroom
Carly Fiorina: Kept up the intricate web of self-delusion that lets her believe she was a successful CEO
Jeb Bush: Drew a round of applause for the first time in his campaign
Ted Cruz’s campaign bus ground to a halt by the curb, spewing steam and water out the radiator. The door opened, and down the steps, in mirror-shine black shoes and silk suit, to tread for the first time in years upon the land he had long ago forsaken, came Texas Senator and Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz ‘92, by a snapped fan belt forced to once more roam Princeton University, and on Homecoming no less.
The Desk of Dr. #Content 