Debate

Winners and Losers From The First 2020 Democratic Debates

The road to 2020 began in earnest this week! Here’s who won and lost from the two-day first debate.

WINNERS:

Marianne Williamson: Never in my lifetime did I think I’d see a walking embodiment of a trance music voiceover run for president

Elizabeth Warren: Really nice of NBC to give her the rest of the night off after her spectacular opening 30 minutes

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Priebus Lost: Book 6

THE Democrats’ malaise, by th’absence long

Of their Contender from both screen and stage

For two weeks’ convalescence magnified,

With each fresh Poll compounded, for the Don

By some remarkable mechanism found

Himself drawn e’en with Hillary, when days

Before he had been thought both dead and gone;

And Priebus, vindicated exponent

Of constant faith in Trump, would draw no blame

If he allow’d himself a brief reprieve,

A moment’s celebration of his work

To date, by far beyond the darkest fears

Espous’d amongst the Party back in May,

But no such interval allow’d himself:

For soon began the crucial stretch, the three

Debates, cruel Gauntlets each, where it was thought

Would fast be shown the bane of th’Aspirant,

Of Donald loud and unprepar’d: the Doom

Of him and Party both secur’d, and ease

Return’d to minds and hearts by him appall’d

Across America, as his Campaign

On Boasts and Slander predicated slid

To certain Loss, and normalcy restor’d;

The gravest threat to our Democracy

Since Tricky Dick, foul Scourge of Watergate

And Southern Stratagems, at last rebuff’d:

And Clinton’s years of toil, repeated Fights

And Labors many for mere cognizance,

For th’overlook of subjugation cruel

Against her Ilk and her, daughters of Eve,

For years enforc’d, at last great Dividend

Would pay. As our great Forebears, undeterr’d

Against the Redcoat adversary, years

Of war and toil in Countenances grim

And weary Dispositions evident,

Yet fin’ly at Yorktown victors, and now aware

With dawning Insight of the huge scope

Of their achievement, th’Overthrow unmatch’d

In all the written annals of the world—

E’en Alexandria, within whose Vaults

Is all the Wisdom of its Age contain’d,

Holds not a record of an equal Feat—

In both astonishment and rampant glee

They rais’d their cry of Triumph, from the chains

Of Tyranny at last releas’d, and bask’d

In newfound Opportunity: so she,

And all th’oppress’d her Kin, to great abuse

And vile injustice oft subjected, hop’d

In three months’ time to emulate, upon

The glitt’ring Coronation of the first

Woman ascendant to that highest Rank,

The Presidency, and too by default

The Leader of the Liberated World.

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Priebus Lost: Book 1

OF the Base’s Disobedience, and the Rise

Of th’orange Fiend, whose dreadful words

Brought Strife into the Right, and all our woe,

With loss of Donors, which allow’d the Dems

In four quick years to right their myriad Ills,

Sing, Reag’nly Muse, that with thine glowing talk

Of shining City on Hill, didst inspire

This Party, and first taught the chosen Pols

In the Beginning how th’Income of All

With Tax Cuts for the Rich would rise; I thence

Invoke thy aid to my adventurous Song,

That if I get some luck might someday grace

The hallowed Leaves of Kristol’s Standard, or,

I daren’t dream, the National Review,

That pinnacle sheer of Right-wing Thought.

Say first, for Reason hides nothing from thy view,

Nor Mainstream Media foul, say first what cause

Moved our feal Voters from their happy State,

Favor’d of the Kochs so highly, to stray

From their obed’nt Path, and flout our Will

For a man who the badge “Conservative”

Op’nly mock’d? How were they by him seduc’d

To foul Revolt, against all we have deem’d

Moral and true, against all right and Right?

Th’infernal Donald: ‘twas he whose boasts

Stirr’d ‘mongst working class Whites twin burning fires

Of Envy and Revenge. We laugh’d him off

And from the Prim’ry Race did not evict,

But gave him licence broad to stir the Pot

And thrill the Base, and draw the Media’s gaze:

A harmless flight before simple Marco

Or placid Jeb was picked, or so we thought:

And now, behold our dismal current State,

To braggart Demon we by Party lines

Beholden render’d, by our Leadership

Betray’d for naught but Power’s fleeting taste.

Muse, tell our Story; start, before all else,

Late in the Primaries, the last Debate

Before Nomination, that we might know

The devastation first, the character

O’th’ Ghoul which was unleash’d upon the land,

And then extrapolate his Origins,

Derive his Engineers and Architects

With understanding full of what they wrought.

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Winners and Losers from Last Night’s Presidential Debate

WINNERS:

Hillary Clinton: Who knew just standing there with an amused look on her face while letting Trump’s increasingly desperate jabs bounce off her without a trace could be so effective?

The 2014 FIFA World Cup: Lester Holt’s moderation was a delightful throwback to the lenient refereeing in that Brazil vs. Colombia game that ended with Juan Zúñiga breaking Neymar’s back

Men repeatedly interrupting women: Many pundits are saying that Trump was at his strongest in the opening half hour, during which he interrupted Clinton 25 times, showing that this evergreen staple of sexism is still alive and kicking even in our progressive modern age

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Hillary Clinton is Going to Totally DESTROY Donald Trump in Tonight’s Debate and I Can’t Wait

Finally. After MONTHS of the media milking overblown controversies while giving Donald Trump and his cronies a free pass, of ridiculous and untrue statements from the Trump campaign, of absurd and sexist scrutiny about Hillary’s health, Tuesday’s debate is her chance to turn the tables on Trump and rip him and his flimsy proposals to shreds. Here’s how:

We’ve known all along that there’s only one candidate who understands the issues and will take the presidency seriously, and it sure as heck ain’t the guy who’s been blowing off any sort of debate prep. The whole country will watch Hillary clearly and effortlessly articulate the specifics of her proposals while Trump continues to avoid explaining how he’s going to get his wall built, and they’ll see that Trump’s proposals are just a bunch of thin air.
Plus, the moderators will press Trump harder than ever before. After the furor surrounding Matt Lauer’s failure to fact-check Trump during NBC’s commander-in-chief forum and Jimmy Fallon’s dangerously positive interview with Trump, you can be sure that the moderators won’t let any lies or distortions go unpunished.
Now that I think about it, though, (more…)