Paul Ryan

Time To Stretch The Truth Pt. 2

[Intro]

(Worth it)

Uhhhhhhhh

[Verse 1: Eric Tump]

I told, I told, yeah, yeah, I told you

Turn on the TV, see this trash

The media’s full of hacks

Tryna say my father’s bad

All he’s done, all he has, all he has

Made real his dreams

All his cash, billions stashed

What’s so bad, what the hell is wrong with that

He’s got stacks, pops is cool

Up to bat ‘gainst liberal rule

If you ask, you don’t know

All these hacks, with no soul

Don’t ask proles, don’t read polls

Can’t admit, Dad’s on pole

Won’t forget these attacks

All y’all best take ‘em back

(more…)

Time To Stretch The Truth Pt. 1

[Intro: Reince Priebus]

So he’s the nominee? (nominee)

So he’s the nominee we have

So he’s the nominee? (nominee)

So he’s the nominee we have

Ooooooo, ooooooo, oooooo

God help us

[Producer Tag: David Koch]
If young David don’t like you I don’t fund you

[Pre-Hook: Frank Luntz]

Dropping in polling, we down in all the polls today

This is appalling

Dropping in polling, we down in all the polls today

This is appalling

(more…)

Predicting Donald Trump’s Vice-Presidential Pick

Jeff Sessions: Still boasting a full head of real, un-dyed hair at age 69, he would add much-needed diversity to the ticket

Chris Christie: Naming him as VP would provide poignant closure to their story, as Christie initially loathed Trump before the two bonded over their shared history of ruining New Jersey

Newt Gingrich: Once said that women would be ill-suited for combat on the grounds that “females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections”, which should make it easy for he and Trump to create a unified indirectly-but-disparagingly-referencing-female-menstruation message

(more…)