WINNERS:
Men incapable of convincingly masking the ravages of male-pattern baldness: Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and now Marco Rubio were repping hard, hard, hard for this underserved constituency
Ben Carson: Somehow the most charming and likable of the remaining candidates
Wolf Blitzer: Made the most of CNN’s tenure offer, putting in the debate-moderator equivalent of a professor showing up to lecture an hour late, unaware that he is fully nude
Ted Cruz: Honestly, it’s kind of adorable how he still thinks a man who considers Chief Justice John Roberts a liberal traitor has enough crossover appeal to win a general election
The Desk of Dr. #Content 