Politics

SUPER HOT Mike Pence Erotic Fanfiction HARDCORE XXX

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA. The state capital. The 34th-most populous metropolitan statistical area in the United States. But for a young, naïve, freshly minted college grad like myself, still shy, wide-eyed, virginal, and unaware of just how demurely attractive I am thanks to my total lack of self-esteem or indeed self-concept, it was the world. Well, not technically the whole world, since the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is technically in Speedway, not Indianapolis proper. But close enough.

It was my first day as a clerk in the State House. It went by in a blur. Such a big building! So many government matters to attend to! My small-town upbringing hadn’t prepared me for anything on this scale. How was I ever going to keep it all straight?

I stayed late into the evening, working on sorting out petitions for the governor. The building got empty and quiet. Finally, I left the office and began heading for the exit.

That’s when I saw him. (more…)

Winners and Losers from the Vice-Presidential Debate

WINNERS

Mike Pence: Did remarkably well, considering his upbringing as a starched shirt brought to life in an unholy laboratory experiment

Seeing your opponent as human rather than openly hating their guts: Kaine and Pence displayed clear, long-held respect for one another, demonstrating that it is possible to engage with someone with a differing political agenda without pulling a knife on them and calling them an elaborate portmanteau of five different racial and sexual slurs

(more…)

Time To Stretch The Truth Pt. 2

[Intro]

(Worth it)

Uhhhhhhhh

[Verse 1: Eric Tump]

I told, I told, yeah, yeah, I told you

Turn on the TV, see this trash

The media’s full of hacks

Tryna say my father’s bad

All he’s done, all he has, all he has

Made real his dreams

All his cash, billions stashed

What’s so bad, what the hell is wrong with that

He’s got stacks, pops is cool

Up to bat ‘gainst liberal rule

If you ask, you don’t know

All these hacks, with no soul

Don’t ask proles, don’t read polls

Can’t admit, Dad’s on pole

Won’t forget these attacks

All y’all best take ‘em back

(more…)

Time To Stretch The Truth Pt. 1

[Intro: Reince Priebus]

So he’s the nominee? (nominee)

So he’s the nominee we have

So he’s the nominee? (nominee)

So he’s the nominee we have

Ooooooo, ooooooo, oooooo

God help us

[Producer Tag: David Koch]
If young David don’t like you I don’t fund you

[Pre-Hook: Frank Luntz]

Dropping in polling, we down in all the polls today

This is appalling

Dropping in polling, we down in all the polls today

This is appalling

(more…)

Encyclopedia Johnson and the Case of the “Aleppo Moment”

To a visitor, Albuquerque looked like any ordinary state capital. It had a courthouse, a capitol building, a police station, and a ~~sleazy, moodily-lit Italian restaurant where crooked politicians made Faustian bargains with bloodthirsty mafiosi~~ bank.

But there was something out of the ordinary about Albuquerque: from 1995 to 2003, no child or grown-up had had to deal with a tax hike. People wanted to know: how did Albuquerque do it?

The brains behind it all was the governor during that time, Encyclopedia Johnson. Now, Encyclopedia’s real name was Gary. But he was only called that in official state documents. Everyone else knew him as “Encyclopedia” because his brain was filled with more facts than a reference book. He was so smart that they said he should run for President, so he did. And to prove how great and smart he was, they booked him a town hall meeting with Chris Matthews, broadcast live on MSNBC. (more…)