Based on the transcript of Comey’s prepared testimony today to the Senate Intelligence Committee published by CNN.
Donald Trump
How Your Favorite Politicians Spent Memorial Day Weekend
Donald Trump: Glancing at the people around him, seeing they were bowing their heads in remembrance, and quickly doing the same
Paul Ryan: As always, mourning the billions of dollars our government has tragically taken from wealthy Americans
Mike Pence: Attending the Indianapolis 500 in his home state, his presence blessing the American drivers with the speed and motivation to finish as high as 7th place (more…)
Trump Is An Idiot, But Nobody Wants Him Out…Yet
Yesterday, the Washington Post revealed that, apparently as a way to brag, President Trump let slip some highly classified information to Russia’s Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, and Ambassador, Sergei Kislyak. In an added bonus, the New York Times reported today that the information originally came from Israel. (more…)
Winners and Losers From The Past Week Or So
Lotta stuff done happened this week, folks. Heckuva lot.
WINNERS:
Mitch McConnell: Continues to have an outsize impact on the political direction of the world’s largest economy, an inspiration for sentient masses of pond slime wearing loose-fitting human skin as a disguise everywhere (more…)
No Feedback
[All vocals by Donald Trump]
[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up
Don’t read what’s in the papers
[Verse 1]
Keep these open phone lines
Just to hear critics? Nah, that’s no dice
Show that these liberals can’t sway us
Show that these liberals can’t play us
[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up
Don’t read what’s in the papers
[Verse 2]
Donnie gave James Comey the old “you’re fired”
Got flooded with complaints, shit’s so damn tired
Shut up, we just doing what the base want us
Shut up, we just doing what the base want us
People waited for me a long time
People waited for me a long time
These libs saying how they feel at the wrong time
Take it up with my votes, they were on time
[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up
Don’t read what’s in the papers
[Verse 3]
We can’t let these people sway us
They’re all Soros-payroll racists
Have they forgotten that
We know they’re rotten, cause we all
D.C. outsiders, ’cause we’re all
D.C. outsiders
[Hook]
Ayy, what happened to our good press?
Y’all wanna hear “You’re fired!”? Want a good rest?
Wake up, losers, wake up
Don’t read what’s in the papers
[Verse 4]
People waited for me a long time
People waited for me a long time
That’s why, that’s why, not gonna even bother
With all these sensitive, no-pussy-grabbing callers
Muslim ban caused panic, airports went all frantic
Lefties mad cause next I’m gonna deport Canucks
Can it, don’t make me get Steve Bannon
This place I’ll run like I do up in Gotham
Don’t complain cause you picked Donald over Rodham
I’m Prez, so it’s not my damn problem
Ridin in this new car, bored, I start tweetin’
Ridin in this new urrrr, bored, I start tweetin’
Shut up, we just doing what the base want us
Shut up, shut up, cause the base warned us
[Outro]
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Wait a second, everybody here, I’m the old white Oprah
You know what that mean? You get a deal! You get a deal!
You get a job! You get a job! Secretary of Education for you! Woo!
The Desk of Dr. #Content 